Today has been okay. It's just really weird. Today marks exactly two years since the last time I saw Scott. It's so....I don't know. Depressing cause I miss him, encouraging because we've made it this far, painful cause I can remember every detail, and a little happy cause I know he's in a better place. I still remember what we did that night, watch Elf at youth group because it was our favorite movie, and his hair was all poofy cause he didn't gel it and we kept making fun of it. I just have this image in my head of the last time I saw him sitting at the sound system upstairs in a computer chair, I remember saying "Bye buddy good luck finding your Dad," and us both laughing because we love that part of the movie and then I left. It still doesn't seem fair, that's all. We lost our game tonight by thirty, it was magnificent let me tell you. I played for about four minutes had four points, a rebound, an assist, and a steal. I just want to play and am getting frustrated, lots of the girls told me that I played really well and Coach should play me more. They said they think I earned more time for this weekend, I hope. Coach Thomas said I played well and told me to keep playing hard. Sometimes thats hard when it feels like all your hardwork gets you no where. Maybe if I wasn't so stubborn this wouldn't be so frustrating. I am really tired like always so I gotta go.

Carrie Out