We lost our game by about forty tonight, it was not pretty, I think we were down 15 within the first 2 minutes. We just couldn't get started or get shots to fall when we needed. It was a rough game and it's hard knowing it's over. It's just so weird here because all the Sophomores will already be gone next year. The coaches took us out to Applebee's after the game. It was really nice and we all hung out and talked. I had Ryan and Ali all over me all night they were following me everywhere and sat on both sides of me at dinner, they knew they wouldn't see me for awhile I guess. The bus wouldn't run today so we had to take two vans, I was in Coach Thomas' van which was quite the adventure. He hardcore depressed me on the way home though. He started in on two stories about players of his that have died, they were really sad and got to me. They just bring back memories of Scott and it still hurts. I don't know the whole time he was telling his story mine just kept running through my head. The details are so vivid and I just kept reliving it, to the point where I felt like I was going to get sick. I sat with my face pressed up against the window to cool me down. The feeling in the pit of my stomach where I feel like I could lose it, it felt just like when it actually happened. It is all still a lot to take and it has been two years but it feels like yesterday. Coach Thomas asked if I was okay and I told him I just have a lot of baggage in that department, which he understands. People tell you it gets easier, I think we just get better at burying it.

Carrie Out