I have been thinking a lot lately about life. About how I am almost grateful for the pain I feel. Not grateful in a way that I am glad those people close to me have passed on but grateful in a way that I loved them enough to feel pain when they left. Grateful that I knew them, that I cared about them. I keep thinking about how it would feel on the outside how it would feel to see the pain but not feel it and it makes me realize how much they missed out on. They missed out on knowing some pretty incredible people and in a way I almost feel bad for them. Look at how much others could have had in their life. I still miss them everyday, sometimes I still cry myself to sleep at night wishing they were here, but sometimes I feel blessed to have been lucky enough to have had these people in my life. Don't get me wrong I would do anything anything to have them back, but to have shared in their life is a gift from God in itself. Scott died about two years ago but I still encounter things every single day that make me think of him, that make me smile recalling old memories, but also make me ache. I guess that is how it is with almost any relationship, there is laughter, there is love, there is smiles, but there is also hurt, and pain, and tears. Nothing God gave us is completely perfect and that in some ways is the beauty of it. There is a quote I love that says "My life is perfect even when it's not." God gives us the stregnth we need when others cannot.