Friday, May 11, 2007

The Gift of Children

First day at home. Well I wasn't really at home...for the day at least. I went with Sam to the doctor so I could hold Clay while she was at her appointment. I haven't seen him for awhile so I loved doing it. Okay this is dumb, but, it made me feel kinda grown up. I can remember when I was younger and all my older cousins would hang out and do things together and I always wished I could. I really enjoyed my time being with Sam and through this whole year I have become a lot closer to all of my cousins and I have realized even more of what a blessing they are. I can actually talk to them about things and a lot of times they have answers, it is a nice feeling. She kept telling me thankyou for coming which was nice, but really I have been looking forward to it all week. I really miss Clay, and even though I am pretty sure everyone who saw me walking him up and down the hall thought he was my baby, I loved doing it. I love that I am trusted enought that people let me spend time with their kids. Honestly I think that is what keeps me sane sometimes knowing that somewhere there is some child who loves me regardless of my fears and failures. This is why I think I became so attached to Ryan and Ali at school. On a campus full of judgements and problems I knew that the mere fact that I took time to play with them or talk to them made them love me. They don't care about that other stuff, I wish more people could be that way.

Carrie Out

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